used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
