I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
