Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
