If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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