i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
