Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
