Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
