how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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