You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
