im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
