I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
