I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he wants to bone in the snuggie
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
