how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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