North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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