I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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