this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
