You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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