Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
