He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
