doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize