woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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