I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize