did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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