Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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