no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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