I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I love having hate sex.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
