Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
