I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
