jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize