He asked to "fluff my boner.."
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
