I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
