I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
