as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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