Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
