did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
