Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
