Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
