The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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