is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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