areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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