So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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