Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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