You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
