Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize