Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just cropdusted the office
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize