dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
