How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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