Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
high people should be assigned attendants
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
