yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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