I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
