I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
