4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
