how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize