oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize