well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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