I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
