did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
