I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
