Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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