Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
