Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
