am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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